FORGOTTEN FILM: HEAVENLY BODIES (1984)

Sometime in the mid 90’s, I was browsing in a used record store. I used to collect film soundtracks. In the dollar bin, they had the soundtrack for the film HEAVENLY BODIES. I remembered the film from the 80’s, but never saw it. The soundtrack had several big in the 80’s bands, so I decided to try and track the film down.

By that time, the film was out of print, but I managed to find it somewhere.

That is about all I remember about the film. I remember why I saw it, where I saw the soundtrack, and that was it. The film is a blank, other than it made no impression on me.

It may just be one of the worst films of the decade. Not in a campy way, but because it is so dull to watch, and so unmemorable, there really is no reason to see it.

The film is about two rival exercise studios, battling each other. It is obviously a rip off of FLASHDANCE, but isn’t even as much fun as either of the BREAKIN films. It could have been something. But, it is nothing.

In fact, it is such a nothing film that Leonard Maltin has dropped it from his movie guide.

Looking over who was responsible for the film is a bit interesting. It was co-written and directed by a guy named Lawrence Dane. Not knowing who he was, I checked and it seems I DO know who he is. In fact, I wrote about him previously in this series. He was the guy who did the Christopher Walken imitation in the “Forgotten Film” entry, THE PARK IS MINE. HEAVENLY BODIES would be his only directing gig before going back to acting.

The cast is made up of no one that most people have ever heard of before or since, which is another odd thing about the film. Surely someone would have a career.

Well, I guess if you live in Canada, lead actress Cynthia Dale is popular. She starred in a long running series there (that never played stateside), and has many fans praising her work in the film on the Amazon used tape listing.

Released to theatres by MGM, and to video by a division of CBS / FOX, I’m not sure where the rights are. According to a post on Youtube, the rights are owned by a now defunct production company involved in the film. It seems Playboy also financed the film, which is strange, since it is a very tame R. I think the movie poster was more provocative than anything in the film.

Does the film deserve a DVD release?

I don’t think that I would buy it. But who knows, someone might.

Well, wait a minute. I just found this on Youtube, the opening 10 minutes of the film (the entire film is up there in 10 minute increments).



Yes, of course I would buy it. Three musical montages in a row??? You have to respect that.

I should probably rethink this whole entry, and try to see the film again.