NOT ON DVD: MUGSY'S GIRLS (1985)

To begin a new series, profiles of films not yet on DVD. To begin:

MUGSY’S GIRLS (1985)

When MUGSY’S GIRLS was released in the 80’s, I remember seeing the ad for it in my newspaper. It was advertised as a wild, R rated ANIMAL HOUSE style comedy, starring, I swear, Ruth Gordon.

I never saw it then, and haven’t thought much about it over the years. But, I was on Amazon, remembered it, and looked it up. They had used VHS copies of it for under $2 so I bought one.

Opening with a trashed sorority house, for Delta Pi, we then meet the residents. The only actress who I had ever heard of among the girls is the late singer Laura Branigan, who had several hit songs (including “Gloria”) a few years before this release. According to the IMDB, most of the other actresses never really did much before or after (although one does a lot of anime voicework now). We then meet the house mother, Mugsy (Ruth Gordon).

The girls owe money to a mobster. In order to pay him back, they stage a whipped cream wrestling contest in their backyard. After that, they still need more money, so a couple of promoters come along (one of them played by 80’s movie staple Eddie Deezen). They tell them about a big mud wrestling competition in Vegas, so they go off with them, in the hopes of winning $100,000.

At this point in watching the movie, I had about given up. Man, oh, man, talk about a dull film. Not a single laugh. Cheaply shot. They obviously didn’t have enough story to cover the 87 minute running time so scenes go on, and on, and on.

As they leave for Vegas, I put on a CD, the new Nelly Furtado CD “Loose”. Great CD. I’m not much of a hip hop fan, but loved her first CD so got this. Really like it. Oh wait, I’m supposed to be talking about a film. Where was I?

They go to Vegas. Ok. The next 30 minutes is pretty much endless. A long drive in a bus. An almost five minute shot of someone in an ultralight aircraft flying over the city. Shots of them walking around the city, montages of gambling. A character introduced by the name “Jack Enoff” (and in case we don’t get the joke, he is billed in the opening credits by that name, and has a name plate on his desk). It goes on and on.

There is a lot of drug use in the film. Are they expecting the audience to be so stoned that they find it funny? Or were the filmmakers so stoned making it they thought it was funny? Much of the drug humor involves the girls’ pet rabbit. And, none of that is funny either. Seems kind of cruel even.

The film is a failure on every level. Even by 80’s Animal House ripoffs. There are only a couple of very brief nude scenes, that make up only a few seconds. I mean, Branigan made a video before this ("Self Control" directed by William Freidkin) that was banned by MTV it was so provocative. That video is more R rated than this film. There aren’t any laughs. It is just a boring film to watch.

There are some movies that are just so bad that they are fun to watch. Like SING also in this not on DVD series. MUGSY’S GIRLS isn’t entertaining on any level. It is just a chore to make it to the end.

I don’t know who should be more embarrassed to have this on their filmography, Ruth Gordon or Eddie Deezen. And while I mention him, shouldn’t Deezen have a Lifetime Achievement Oscar by now? From GREASE to ZAPPED, he was one of those guys who you just loved to see turn up in this type of film. One of the most reliable character actors of the 80’s.

As the film ended, and I ejected it from the VCR, I watched it eject and saw a video store sticker on it saying “Please Rewind”. That got me mad. Very mad. How dare this tape, that just stole 87 minutes from my life, tell me what to do? It had some nerve doing this.

Then I realized I was getting angry at an inanimate object, and had to go lie down.

SHOULD THIS BE ON DVD: Hell no. The fact that this film was completed was bad enough. But that it was completed, released to theatres, and then Vestron had to release it to video? No wonder Vestron is out of business.

Heck, I feel guilty now about making someone package this tape up and mail it to me. Made them waste a few seconds. For only $1.